A little background:
Sad, but it happens.
So when I visited her over the weekend, we talked everything through (plus everything else that felt wrong or might could have caused this) and not even worked it out, but also realized again, that every fear of loosing the other, getting less important or replaced is complete and utter bullshit.
It may sound weird, but I'm feeling whole again. Whatever was missing, it's back where it belongs.
We've been taking care of each other for years, loosing that would be devastating.
Then I received a call last night. My wonderful soon-to-be room-mate and my amazing ex-girlfriend were having some fun, but realized they were missing me and felt the urge to tell me about it.
This made me pretty happy, but it also made me think:
I thought about their significant others and how cool they are with the fact how much space I take in the lives of the women they love (and with the fact that I threatend to skin them with a rusty blade,if they ever hurt those women).
Special Kudos to my Ex's man for that, from what I've been told, most guys would turn into stupid, jealous idiots, if their woman would still hang out with her ex on a regular base.
I thought about my internet-friends,who take their time to cheer up a guy on the other end of the world, even though they never met him (or only once). A bunch of amazing people who were either originally crusading... wait... that's not how it's called anymore,is it?
Anyway, that's when we met and I've grown very fond of her and she's always able to cheer me up, even if I sometimes think, she's trying to sneak-preach to me. And I love even that.
For the others... Well, I guess it started with me being a random guy who kept randomly commenting on thoughts they shared on Twitter. But again, These guys and gals turned into what I'd actually consider pretty good friends, even though I normally discuss less serious business with the guys. That's something that was always easier with women (and even then it's hard enough).
I also thought about my best and oldest friend, who's been keeping m in line for 18 years now, even when he could't be physically present, because he moved to France.
See, I met this guy back in second grade and we got along pretty well (Back then, I wasn't that hard to be around). He always had to talent to act as calm anchor to troublesome old me. It was only when he left, that I realized how important this friendship was to me. Long story short: My grades dropped in an alarming rate and I alienated myself moreand more from other and basically became an asshole.Luckily, I soon met my female best friend, who managed to regulate the process very well, together with the previously mentioned ex.
But whenever I reflect my life, I have to realize that everything good that happened, everybody wonderful person I met or was introduced to, all that was made possible by him. I pick anything that makes me happy and look back on the chain of events that led me there -things I've done, that caught my interest in something or that made people introduce me to somebody who later took an important role in my life- and it is always somehow linked to him. I wonder if he is actually aware of that. I also wonder, if he even has the slightest idea what it meant to me, when he said he wants me to be his best man in a few years.
Eh, he probably does. After all, he knows me like nobody else does.
Another sad part about friendship is how fragile they can be sometimes. Looking back, I realize that there are a lot of people, who I just don't talk to anymore. Some left, sometimes we just got different interests over the years and some - not many, but a few- just didn't fit in my life anymore.
Speaking honestly, I have to say that sometimes I miss them, but most of the time I don't really think of them anymore.
So, what is the message I'm trying to carry out here?
I think it is, that good friends, who are always there for you, no matter what's going on or what you did, should be treasured. When I look at those I listed, they seem to be many. But when I compare them to those, I've lost over the years or to the sheer mass of people, I couldn't get along to begin with, I realize how lucky I actually am to have that many amazing friends.
If you got people like that, keep them close, cherish them and do whatever it takes to protect them.