but I'm also wondering , if I should start growing up now. Since I'm not good at that, I decided to take a look at love-stories instead.
Confession: I'm easily annoyed by romance-subplots.
Now, some people I know would probably say, I'm just trying to be cynical on purpose, but what actually bothers me are usually smart characters acting like idiots because of a guy/girl.
'But Kirby’, I hear you intervening, 'your other best friend is a girl and every time someone even dares criticising her, you turn into a raging maniac.'
Yes, that’s true, but it's also different due our different backstory.
Since you already know that, what makes you think,
it's a good idea to use this argument to disprove me?
Now, back to matter at hand. I dislike romance-subplots, because of the involved parties act and behave. But is that really it? Using my super-self questioning-powers, I took some time and tried to figure it out.
Answer: no, it’s not. (Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have brought it up.)
It just bothers me, how often romance gets thrown in the mix, just to create tension, when a friendship would work as fine as a motivator for the characters to do something.
Now, I value those things differently than the general public, since in my book a friendship always outweighs a romantic involvement, so could that be the reason for my stance against romance-plots?
Well, some people might say so. Some might think, I’m afraid of romance, or I’m insecure, because I don’t know what I want, or some nonsense like that, but...
...again, no. Sure, that's all been part of it once, but what me bugs me the most are romance-plots, that push back the main-story... and forced romances. There are many romance-plots I simply dislike, because they just felt forced and unnatural to me. Just because we have a man and a woman hanging out a lot or working together, we shouldn't assume, they’ll fall in love.
Just look at Snake and Eva in Metal Gear Solid 3: Sure, there is some tension between them and in the outro, they spend the night together, but they are not in love. In her closing monologue, Eva drops hints, that she MIGHT have a soft spot for Snake -after all, she was supposed to kill him- but keep in mind, that she is a trained spy, strolling in Mata Hari's footsteps. Now Snake on the other hand...He's definitely not in love with Eva, he doesn't even look at her face when they're talking until the very end. Instead you can see his eyes being fixed on her cleavage, when you switch to first-person-mode during the cutscenes.Is he a misogynist, who see's women only as objects? Certainly not, keep in mind that he holds his mentor The Boss in highest regards and starts basically tearing the world apart due a misinterpretation of her will. No, Snake is -like Eva- a trained spy, who’s aware that looks can be deceiving, body-language can be controlled; so he keeps his attention on the only part of Eva, that he can trust to be honest: her heart.
The cooperation between Snake and Eva is a great example for a male/female-partnership, because nobody experiences a sudden burst of love-idiocy, yet it is clear they are concerned for each others safety, as it is shown when Snake gets tortured and loses an eye or when Eva is impaled on a tree branch.
Now, are there any actual romances in fiction I actually like? Of course there are. And since I promised you a Top 8 list, let the guy who is incredibly incompetent when it comes to relationships or dating tell you about a few good romances.
Actually, I'm feeling generous, so I'll give not one, but two Top 8-lists.
Keep in mind, that this are personal opinions, since I have no idea, what actually makes a 'good' romance.
Here are my Top 8 favourite and most despised relationships in fiction:
#8 Tim Drake & Stephanie Brown
Let's start with one, where I could be accused of being biased by fictional jealously. Tim Drake, also known as the third Robin and later Red Robin, is a character, I'm not a big fan of. That's partly because he lacked -at least in my eyes- Dick Grayson's charme and Jason Todd's and Damian Wayne's edge. He isn't a bad or badly written character and it IS interesting, that he managed to figure out Batman's identity by himself before he became his sidekick, but still... not a big fan of him compared to the other Robins.
Stephanie on the other hand... ahhh, Stephanie Brown, former Spoiler, fourth Robin and the last pre-New52 Batgirl (and Kirby's big childhood-crush... sod off, we all have our guilty pleasures).I've always been a big fan of hers, and that's also a tiny part of why I'm not a fan of them being a couple. Aside from that, it always seemed to me, there were problems in their communication (I still think, Tim should have gone against Batman's policy and told her who he was himself, if he really wanted to be with her...Their initial cape and cowl-relationship seemed always a little weird to me, and Drake getting pissed, when Bats told Steph during her training with him who the guy she was dating is, was also a Dick-move... even though he was Tim.)
It's not a bad relationship per se, but I didn't like it.
moving on.
#8 Westley and Buttercup
Westley is the ever polite farmboy,responding to every request with 'As you wish.' Buttercup might not be the brightest girl in the realm, but her beauty made a prince wanting to marry her, even though she was just a peasant's daugher.
They grew up together,with Westley forking for her father,harboring a deep love for Buttercup for years. It took her a while to realize,that she felt the same for him. When her beloved Westley was thought to be dead after his ship was attacked by The Dread Pirate Roberts, she swore to never love again. For her parents sake, she accepted prince Humperdinks request to live with him in the castle and marry him one day, but her heart still belonged to Westley.
When she got kidnapped by a band of mercenaries, they got relentlessly pursued by a misterious man in black,wearing a mask over his face. After besting one of the best swordsmen in the world in a duel, defeating a giant in unarmed combat and triumphing over a cunning sicilian in a battle of wits, the man in black chastises Buttercup for hooking up with a prince, after her true love didn't return yet, to which Buttercup replies she doesn't love the prince and will never love anyone again, followed by pushing the man in black down a hill and telling him to go to hell. His trademark 'as you wish' reveals Westley's true identity. Pursued by the prince, they make a run for it through all kinds of dangers,but in the end,they get caught. Buttercup begs for Westley's life,and while the prince seems to accept her terms, he secretly orders for him to be tortured.
When the swordsman and the giant break him out,he's more dead than alive, but they still anage to break into the caslte,defeat the swordsman's nemesis, stop Buttercup from comitting suicide and Westley rolls a natural 20 on his bluff-check against the prince, convincing him to surrender, even though he himself can barely get up,not to mention fight anyone.
This is a classical fairytale lovestory with happy-end and everything, yet I love it. The characters are likeable,the stakes are high,and even though the lovestroy between Westley and Buttercup is in the focus of the story,the swordsman gets his own great storyarc,that doesn't get shoved aside for the romance.
Westley and Buttercup - the adorable couple.
#7 Peter Parker & Mary-Jane Watson
I know, I know. I've harping on them a lot over the last decade, especially due to One More Day. But honestly, there is more to it. Let's rewind time a little, before Pete and MJ got together, so basically were going back all the way into the silver age. Peter Parker, who is protecting New York under the guise of Spider-Man, has a stunning, clever, blonde girlfriend called Gwen Stacey. They have been a couple for quite a while now, and Marvel's editors and writers are getting nervous. Some might say, it's time for their relationship to get to the next level, either via Peter proposing to Gwen or at least by him telling her his secret identity. They decide to do the sensible thing and kill her off. 'The Night Gwen Stacey Died' is a dark tale, considering Gwen's death drives Peter very close to the edge of beating the Green Goblin into a bloody paste with his bare hands in a fit of rage; but it also was a turning point for the comic book-industry as a whole. Until that day, supporting characters didn't die out of origin stories. Heroes didn't die. But with TNGSD ending the silver age, all bets were off and nobody was safe.
Now, while Peter was mourning Gwen, he got morale support by their friend Mary-Jane. Over the time, they became a couple, she learned his secret identity, they got married.... so basically MJ got everything Gwen was killed to avoid. Throw in a badly done deal with the devil to add insult to injury, and you know, why I don't like their relationship, even though she proved a great morale support to Spider-Man.
Peter and MJ - a big 'Fuck you' to all Gwen Stacey-fans by Marvel.
#7 Buffy Summers & Angel
In every Generation is born a chosen one to protect the world from the forces of evil. Buffy Summers started out as your average teenage-girl, until she got awakened as the slayer, destined to battle vampires and demons to protect our world from dark forces. Shortly after she moved to Sunnydale to keep the hellmouth in check, she met the mysterious dark, brooding Angel. Angel turned out to be a vampire, who was also fighting the good fight, supporting Buffy and her scooby-gang. Normally, that wouldn't make much sense, but angel isn't a normal vampire. After the young man Liam got turned into an undead bloodsucker during the 18th century, he committed many atrocities under the name Angelus all over the world, killing for fun, slaughtering whole villages and so on. While spreading terror through Romania, he majorly pissed of a clan of gypsies, who cursed him to have a soul, which made him compassionate toward all his victims and set him on a path of atonement. Buffy fell for him pretty quickly (cut here some slack, she was a teenager back then), and Angel lowered his defences around her, allowing her to get close to him. The problem was, his curse had a catch: if he ever achieved a moment of true happiness, his soul would leave his body and he would turn into Angelus again. Hilarity ensued, Angel became evil and terrorized Sunnydale in general and Buffy and her friends in particular. When he was about to summon a demon, that would have destroyed the world, she had enough and went out to kill him, impaling him and sending him to hell mere moments after her friend Willow restored the curse. A few months later, he returned from hell, broken and a shadow of his former self (we knew at that point that time in hell is different, a few minutes in our world equalling months in hell, and we can assume he has been tortured the whole time). He gets better, but is still angsting -which originally irritated me, but after thinking about it from his point of view, I had to give him a pass on that, considering his backstory. He finally decides to leave Sunnydale, unable to stay around Buffy, and set up shop in L.A., helping the hopeless.
Now, I've mentioned something about OMD done right between those two, and it happened during the first season of Angel's spin off-show. Buffy visits him, they fight a demon and contact with it's blood turns Angel into a human. He and Buffy are happy, because now they can be together without the danger of Angel turning evil again, but when demon returns, Angel realizes the advantage his vampire powers gave him fighting demons. Buffy saves him, but he learns that there are more to come, and with the good guys missing one of their most powerful fighters, the slayer is destined to be overrun and die. He visits some higher powers to ask them to turn him back, but there is only one way to do it: they can turn back time to the first encounter with the demon, with only Angel remembering everything, so he can make sure things turn out different this time. He accepts, sacrificing his one chance at true happiness to save his love's life (and not his constantly dying, old aunt, who told him to let her go, since she lived a good a life). Now THAT'S how you use a deal with higher powers to prevent a relationship from blooming.
Buffy and Angel - a love that wasn't meant to be.
#6 Harry Potter & Cho Chang
Harry Potter, the boy who lived. Cho Chang the...girl who...dated the boy who lived for a short time...or something. Like Tim and Stephanie, this relationship sort of bugged me for years, without actually being a problem. Harry Potter managed to be world-famous and some kind of social outcast at the same time, sort of like a more likeable version of Justin Bieber.
He is the hero of a generation, facing of against a sorcerer so evil and powerful, people were afraid to even mention his name again and again, while constantly failing to die. His family hated him, which was probably caused by the piece of evil sorcerer-soul stored inside him, since those things just have that effect on others, while his few friends and allies kept risking their lives for him and helped him surviving seven long years off school. Some say, he would have died, without his friends in his first year, but he wouldn't even have figured out how to get in those situations, if they hadn't helped him, so if he had stayed a loner, nobody would have been in danger in the first place. Well done, friends of Harry.
Cho Chang seems to be one of those girls, who just can't stay alone for a long while, dating one guy at Hogwarts after another ( we know of four, but she wasn't mentioned before book three, and in book seven, she wasn't around much, due to Harry and the gang not being in school). In the fourth book, her boyfriend dies at the end, with Harry being around. The next year, she and Harry are getting closer, but their relationship is troublesome and basically doomed from the very beginning: She gets into pointless arguments about sports with Harry's best friend Ron, constantly wants to talk about her ex’s death and is constantly jealous towards Harry's other best friend, Hermione. Ironically enough, Hermione actually tried to teach Harry how to treat a girl, because the poor idiot was completely clueless. Hey, Cho? Some guys are a little awkward around girls, we need some help of our female friends to understand what's okay and what's a no-go. Be thankful for those patient ladies in our lives instead of jealous. That's stupid and helps nobody.
Harry and Cho - a couple that didn't need to be.
#6 Kylar Stern & Elene Cromwell
Kylar and Elene are an interesting variation of the girl next door-scenario, especially if you consider the lack of doors in their childhood. Growing up together as street rats, Kylar -then known as Azoth-always tried to take care of the little Dollgirl. He planned to apprentice with the infamous wetboy Durzo Blint to get both of a proper life, but when he hesitated to kill Rat, Dollgirl got literally scarred for life as punishment for Azoth. When he finally fulfilled the requirements to learn how to become a killer, he arranged for Dollgirl to be taken care of by a good family, who named her Elene. Despite his master's orders, Kylar kept tabs on the girl, watched over her and secretly fell in love with his former childhood-friend. While Elene knew Kylar, she wasn't aware of him being Azoth at first and had a crush on her old friend herself. After a few complications, they got together, and took care of Durzo's little daughter, posing as a young couple who adopted a war-orphan. Elene being raised by a religious family caused some conflict with Kylar's uprising to become the perfect killer, and despite his longing to be happy with her, he couldn't help himself to roam the streets after dark as The Nightangel, bringing bad people to justice. While their communication was troubled, Kylar did his best to defy his nature, until circumstances beyond his influence caused him to leave and Elene thinking he abandoned her. When she followed him, she was forced to kill a bandit in self-defense, realizing there might something like 'necessary evil' in her god's plans.
When they found each other again, they actually had a level of happyness, they've never reached before, but they days as a happy couple were numbered: some of Kylar's decisions had sealed Elene's fate, so they tried to make the best of the time they had left while preparing for a war. Knowing Kylar wouldn't leave her behind, Elene snuck away with a group of supporters for their army, so Kylar was forced to follow her, since she didn't want to stop him from fulfilling what she thought to be his destiny, since he was the force that could turn the tides in the final battle. In the end Kylar was forced to kill the love of his life to stop a twisted goddess, that used her as a host.
Kylar and Elene - a tragical girl next door-story with quite a lot character developement.
#5 Mario & Peach
Mario is an italian plumber from Brooklyn. Peach is the princess of the Mushroom kingdom.
when Mario first set out heroing, he had to rescue Pauline, who got stolen by an ape. Then he saved princess Daisy from Sarassa-land. But in the end, he usually chases after constantly kidnapped Peach. Say what you want, but something's fishy about those kidnappings. I mean, wouldn’t any sane person do SOMETHING about security after being kidnapped basically five times in a month? So either Peach suffers from a serious case of stockholm-syndrome or.. uhm... look, something’s fishy.
Also, why is Bowser so fixated with her?
Also also, why does Mario get through all of this trouble, time and time again, just for the promise of a cake?
What also bothers me is that those two are just so bland. Peach is THE stereotypical damsel in distress with little to no personality and Mario is just the everyday man doing some heroing around. He is also basically without personality, facing giant fire breathing turtles without even really reacting to what he sees. At least his brother gets frightened by all the crazy shit going on around them. But Mario and Peach? They might fit each other, but they are about as interesting as Bella and Edward.
Mario and Peach - The couple,that fails make us care.
#5 Johnny Sasaki & Merryl Silverburgh
Jonny Sasaki is heir to a nervous stomach and not actually the best soldier around. Merryl is the daughter of one of Snake's closest allies and kicks all kinds of ass.
when they initially met, Jonny was tasked with guarding her, while she was held hostage. Since he started out as a comic relief-character, Jonny instantly fell in love with Merryl. She thanked him by knocking him out and stealing his uniform. After Genome-project was shut down, he tracked her down and worked hard to join her unit. In a world of nanomachines, Johnny was the weakest part of the team, since his fear of needles made him avoiding the shots that would have injected the nanomachines in his bloodstream, giving the team an unnatural synchronisation on the battlefield. Who would have guessed, that this would turn into a big advantage at some point? When Liquid Ocelot disables the nanomachines, exposing the soldiers to all their suppressed emotions from the battlefield, he was the one, who stayed on his feet. When Ocelot blew up the gunboat, Merryl was on board of, Jonny was the one to pull her unconscious body out of the water and give her CPR. Screaming Mantis used the nanomachines to control her enemies bodies distracting Snake by forcing Merryl to put a gun to her head, but she couldn't control Johnny. When Merryl made her last stand to buy Snake time and hold off the incoming FROG-units, Johnny got back to his feet, shot her attackers and supplied her with new ammunition. While they keep fighting together side by side, outnumbered and outgunned, he finally finds the courage to tell her exactly how he feels and proposes to her. Of course she refuses, because she's a big girl and does things her own way, basically ordering him to marry her and asks him take her home. They get the gunfight-equivalent of a second wind and fight back the incoming attackers even fiercer than before, because now it's not about the free world anymore, now it's about them. Even though they take both multiple hits, they refuse to give up, buying Snake enough time to fulfil his mission. While their love seemed rushed, there are multiple hints that there is more to it: Johnny was secretly in love with Merryl for years, and even though she treated him badly in the first act of Guns Of The Patriots, we need to keep in mind that she is the commanding officer of Rat Pt.01 and has to take care of her whole team...and in the beginning, Johnny was a liability, being out of sync and accidentally attracting enemies to their position. But when he saves her life, he proves to be a worthy member of the team, and they apparently bonded off-screen, regarding Merryl's reaction when Johnny paid more attention to Mei-Lings behind than he did to the ongoing mission-briefing. She also was worried about his safety, when he overshot the target-location. Plus, her nanomachines were supposed to suppress emotions, to make her a more efficient soldier.
Johnny and Merryl - prove that love can bloom even on the battlefield.
#4 Donald Duck & Daisy Duck
Donald Duck, the posterchild for bad luck, lazyness and a bad temper, yet he's incredibly versatile. Daisy Duck, torn between two cousins fighting for her love.
While I've always been a great Donald-fan, this relationship especially bugged me, even though it took me years of growing up (hehe, try to picture me as a grown up. How ridiculous) to realize, what exactly made me hate this pair-up.
Hint: it's not Donald.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't blame Daisy for being unable to sort out her feelings for those two men constantly fighting about her, I'm sure she's not poly-amorous by choice. However, I blame her for constantly playing Donald and Gladstone against each other, forcing them into competing for her attention on a regular base. She was created -and is officially listed- as Donald's girlfriend (at least in german translations of comics even as his fiancee sometimes), yet she tends to go out on dates with Gladstone to punish Donald, when she didn't approve of his behaviour.
She also constantly tried to change Donald to be more like her 'dream-guy', while she -especially in her early years- was pro e throw a tantrum at tiny things herself. While she is more controlled now, her fury still has everyone cowering in fear and she exchanged her most violent tendencies against becoming a diva.
Personally, I prefer stories, where Donald tries to charm an random lady, he’s met somewhere, instead of going out with Daisy.
Donald and Daisy - the couple that made me question couples throughout my early years.
#4 Wally West & Artemis Crock
A recreation of his uncle's lab-accident turned young Wally West into the sidekick of the fastest man alive.
A girl from a family with an intense criminal background takes up bow and arrow the prove there is no such thing as 'bad blood'.
When Kid Flash, Robin, Aqualad and Speedy are told, they’ll be allowed into the Justice League's headquarters, the boys believe their biggest dream to come true. After all, that should be the first step to become actual members of the League. But when Speedy reveals the Hall of Justice just being a PR-gag, the young sidekicks feel cheated, since they aren't allowed into the watchtower yet, so they go against direct orders by their mentors, setting out on their own when they're told to stay put, which results in the rescue of Superboy and the creation of a covert black-ops-team of sidekicks. When Artemis joins under the guise of Green Arrow's niece, She and Wally are often at odds, since Wally originally felt like she's supposed to take Speedy's place on the team, while Artemis doesn't take any of Wally's nonsense, when he desperately tries to charm Miss Martian or Zatana, going even so far to claim he believes in magic whenever Zatana is around, while he usually brushes everything magical off as trickery and trying to explain it with science. Wally begins warming up to Artemis, and despite feeling deeply betrayed when Artemis sabotaged tracking Sportsmaster and Cheshire fearing they would reveal who she is, his only concern during psychological evaluation after a simulated training-mission went south, is what Artemis thinks of him.
One could claim it to be fate, when those two finally find each other, considering how Kent Nelson -the former Doctor Fate- has told Wally to 'find his own little spitfire, who doesn't let him get away with anything', a role Artemis filled from the very beginning. Yet it took a hostile takeover of the Justice League via mind control, that put the team against their mentors, for them to finally face this fact; after they defeated their usually superior mentors and freed the League from the mind control, Wally kisses Artemis at midnight of New Year's Eve, and they become a couple.
Over the course of the next five years, they start living together and retire from heroing, leading a normal life. Wally dons his costume once more, when the Flash's grandson Impulse arrives from the future, but for him this was a onetime return to help out Flash and Impulse defeating a villain, especially since he can't keep up with either of the Allen-speedsters. Artemis clads herself in green again when Nightwing requests her help for a mission, but once more things don't work out as planned and Artemis is seemingly killed by the former Aqualad. Unknown to anyone except Wally, Artemis, Aqualad and Nightwing, this was actually a ruse to solidify Aqualads position, who is deep undercover, and allow Artemis to take on the identity of Tigress, who becomes Aqualad's trusted right hand.
Wally isn't to thrilled by the idea of his girlfriend posing as an assassin in the their enemies inner circle, and he calls his friend Nightwing out more than once for this dangerous ruse. Despite Wally's concern, she manages to avoid detection until the team makes their move and she and Aqualad prove, on who's side they really are.
When an alien race known as the reach actives multiple devices around the world to disrupt the earth's magnetic field, Wally and Artemis again fill their role as battle-couple, with Wally still finding time to flirt, inspired by them being in Paris. Right when the heroes thought,they saved everyone, they learn about another hidden device at the nortpole,where the Justice League has no Zeta-Tubes stationed, so nobody is able to teleport there. Flash and Impulse race to the location,but they are too late,the device is already activated. When Lex Luthor advises them to run circles, so their kinetic energy will syphon off the devices destructive energy, Wally joins them to add his share of kinetic energy.
But once more he is faced with the fact, that he isn't nearly as fast as the Flash or Impulse, which actually makes him a target for the released energy. Flash and Impulse slow down to match Wally's speed, but it's too late; Kid Flash is fading out of existence. His last thoughts go toward Artemis, before he's completely gone.
Wally and Artemis - a love which was forged in battle and ended way too soon.
#3 joker & harley quinn
The clown prince of crime and his former psychiatrist.
The Jokers origin is still a mystery, he himself even states, that 'if he has to have an origin, he prefers it to be multiple choice'. So, whoever he was before, after a chemical accident bleached his skin, turned his hair green and put a permanent grin on his face, he became the Yang to Batman’s Yin, stating every now and then, that they complete each other.
Harleen Quinzel was a young psychiatrist, working at Arkham Asylum. She wanted to get recognized, so she worked hard and finally got managed to get assigned to the patient only known as Joker. She was fascinated by his case and while trying to get to his inner, true self, hidden beneath layers of madness, she began to fall for him, until she lost herself, designed a costume and broke him out, adapting the alias Harley Quinn. Harley loved the Joker deeply and was basically obsessed with 'Mista Jay', whom she also used to call her 'Puddin' ',while the Joker normally just used her as means to an end. He had no remorse in using her as bait, leaving her behind to get caught, or just beating her up, since all he cared about was Batman. The Caped Crusader even used that once, when Harley managed to trap him, secretly informing the Joker, who again beat Harley up, since 'the bat belongs to him'. Despite often being the target of Joker's violent outbursts, she stayed true to him for many years.
She eventually grew more independent after spending some time with Poison Ivy, who questioned Harley's love for the Joker.
Joker and Harley Quinn - the embodiment of abusive relationships.
#3 Amy Pond & Rory Williams
Amelia Pond is the girl, who waited. Rory Williams is the last centurion, who makes every boyfriend ever look bad in comparison.
During her childhood, little Scottish redhead Amelia had an imaginary friend, who wasn't really imaginary, he was just a time traveller, who failed to be on time. When she grew up, her obsession with The Doctor grew into silent waiting, while her best friend Melody - who is also her daughter from the future- took the part of fiercely standing up for his existence. Mel was also the one making Amelia - who went by Amy now- realize, that her friend Rory actually wasn't without a girlfriend because he's gay, but because he's in love with Amy and just didn't dare to tell her. After some time travelling shenanigans with Amy, the Doctor learns, that he picked her up the night before her wedding, and decides to make Rory join them on their travels, basically as a wedding gift.
That puts Amy in a tough spot, torn between the man, who everybody thought to be imaginary, leading to her visiting four different psychiatrists during her childhood, and the man, who would everything for her, always ready to call the Doctor out on his bullshit, when the latter made people endanger themselves to impress him.
On one of their adventures Rory died, and Amy realized how much he meant to her, just to forget him seconds later, when he was retroactively erased from reality.
Now, when she was a child, Amy's room contained a crack in reality, which exposed her to timey-wimey energies, allowing an alien alliance to recreate Rory as part of a trap for the Doctor. This version of Rory was an artificial lifeform under the influence of mind control, which made him shoot Amy. That shock allowed his consciousness to resurface, and - with some help of the Doctor- his personality got fully restored. He than spend the 2000 years waiting and guarding the box containing her during her suspended animation.
When she got kidnapped, Rory once more donned the armor of the Last Centurion, and went to question the Cybermen about Amy's whereabouts. While the Doctor rigged the cyber-fleet's ships to explode, Rory curb stomped his way through the command ship. The Cybermen -basically humanoid robots, who are at least equipped with mounted blasters, but also not shy to get additional weapons- couldn't even slow him down, as he cut his way through their lines faster than they could raise their defences, armed only with a sword. When he confronted the cyber-leader, he asked about the location of his wife, while the Doctor blew up half the fleet outside the window behind Rory, so they could make their point.
When Amy got stuck in a different time stream, she went close to losing her mind after 36 years without Rory.
While initially refused to help the Doctor to save her younger self, because she didn't want to spare him the guilt of his reckless actions, she finally agreed for Rory's sake, even though this meant her older, bitter self would be erased from existence. She demanded to be taken aboard the TARDIS too, but at that point she probably the Doctor well enough to suspect him plotting against it in order to avoid a paradox and ended up sacrificing herself, so Rory and her younger self could be together.
Despite that, she still broke up with Rory a while later upon learning that she never could have children again, since Rory had always dreamt about having a family. Ironically, Rory didn't care about having children as long as he could be with Amy, which they only managed to figure out during a life-or-death situation, they got into thanks to their affiliation with the Doctor, allowing the timelord to fix their marriage, despite Amy' prior claims that this isn't something he could fix like his bow-tie.
Their story ends in New York, when Rory gets stuck in fixed events having him dying alone at old age in a hospital. To avoid that from happening, he decides to kill himself by jumping of the roof, causing a paradox, that would erase the hospital out of existence, bringing him back to life, since he can't die jumping from a building that never existed. Amy is u willing to let him take the bargain and decides to join him, so she wouldn't have to be without him, if anything goes wrong. Interestingly enough, Rory wakes a mere moments before Amy, hinting that he hit the ground first, even though they jumped arm in arm, hinting that he even in death still tried to protect her.
When he gets zapped back in the past once more, Amy follows him, so they still could grow old together.
Amy and Rory - a couple that couldn't even be separated by the death of reality itself.
#2 Anakin Skywalker & Padme Amidala
Anakin Skywalker, the jedi who would ultimately become o e of the most menacing Villains in fictional history. Padme Amidala, a politician who had a lot of decoys.
Usually, Star Wars-fans aren't really fond of this couple and I'll tell you why: the script doesn't allow them to develope any chemistry.
Anakin starts out a slave-born little boy on Tatooine, when Princess Amidala's ship is forced to land there for some repair works. Jedi-Knight Qui-Gon Jinn finds the little boy in a repair shop, senses his strong affinity to the force and tricks his owner to set him free. When Qui-Gon dies a short time after, his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi graduates and takes Anakin u der his wing.
When they originally met in the repair shop, Padme was disguised as a servant and accompanying Qui-Gon, so she met Anakin there too. The only thing setting up their future relationship at that point was a little boy asking a grown woman, if she was an angel, telling the viewer he thought her to be beautiful. She offers concern about Qui-Gon's plan to let a little boy participate in a dangerous highspeed-race to win the needed spare parts for the ship and the kid's freedom, but they didn't interact much more on screen. By the time clone war is coming close to happen, Obi-Wan and Anakin are sent to protect Padme, with Anakin mentioning that he always kept thinking of her (why ever the hell he would do that, since she barely talked to him before he became a padawan).
Someone tries to assassinate Padme, hilarity ensues, Anakin ignores Obi-Wan's orders, yet is still somehow tasked with protecting Padme, they bumble around awkwardly, which apparently means they love grows, he murders a whole village including women and children, loses an arm and they secretly marry, despite jedis being forbidden to love.
After a rescue mission, where Anakin kills the guy who hacked off his hand, Padme tells him, she’s pregnant and they try to figure out, what to do.
At that point, Anakin is already enthralled by the future emperor, so instead of telling his wife about his prophetic dreams of her death, he goes to his master-to-be, learns about a sith, who figured out, how to cheat death and murders all the younglings at the jedi temple, to get closer to the dark side. When the emperor sends him on another wet-job, she secretly follows him, with Obi-Wan stowing away. When Obi confronts his former apprentice, Anakin blames him for turning his wife against him and force-chokes her. Obi defeats him, cuts off his limbs and leaves hi to burn in a volcano, saving Padme instead. She gives birth to twins, names them and dies, because Anakin choked the will to live ot of her.
I dislike this 'lovestory' especially, because it's so forced. One of the few things I like about the prequels is Hayden Christensen's performance, the problem is that he has nothing to work with. When he goes down to the dark side, he is pretty menacing, but when he interacts with other others, he's written like Chris Odonell's Robin. It's like listening to Peter Parker in One More Day or dealing with Superboy-Prime.
That's the trouble with prequels: when there is a father-son-relationship in the original story, there has to be a mother at some point. If the father is a villain, prequels tell us,how he got there, which is not a bad thing per se, but writers know, that they are expected to present us with a relationship leading to the children. So they do whatever they have to, in order to make it happen, even if they sacrifice building chemistry between the and interest for them, because we need more flashy explosions in space.
Anakin and Padme - the couple that wouldn't have felt more forced, if they were held at gunpoint the whole time.
#2 Kin & Minmax
Minmax the fighter is exactly what it says on the can. Kin is a highly intelligent Yuan-Ti with a horrible past.
When he set out as an adventurer, Minmax was a simple character: He was named after the applied character-concept of minmaxing, with maxed out stats for combat, while his intelligence score was dumbed for extra-points; he even exchanged basic abilities like reading, whistling, rhyming at will or dressing himself for additional bonus-points and combat feats. This made him an incredible powerful fighter, who could perform in combat way beyond his actual level, while his worldview was doomed to be simple: adventurers are good, monsters are evil. After he and his friend Forgath raided a goblin camp, the surviving goblins decided to become adventurers themselves to protect their people, while Minmax and Forgath stumbled upon a prophecy, which Forgath misinterpreted, so they believed those very goblins are out to destroy the world. Since Minmax and one of the goblins became each other's nemesis during the attack on the camp anyway, Minmax was more than happy to chase the goblins to stop them. When they reached the town of Brassmoon, Minmax had to rethink his views for the first time, when he encountered his idol, the famous adventurer Dellyn Goblinslayer and had to find out, what kind of person he really was. Dellyn had turned torture into an art and kept a variety of monsters as prisoners to figure out, how he could delivered the most pain and suffering to different types of creatures. The Goblin Adventure Party recently had delivered a serious blow to Dellyn’s troops by freeing a lot of his prisoners and killing dozens of his man in the ensuing battle before escaping the city. Dellyn took out his frustration on Kin, who he had enslaved using a cursed leash and collar, which forced her to obey every order given by the wielder of the leash. He used to rape her on a regular base, bringing her to an inch of her life, just to give her healing potions and repeat his atrocious acts. When he brags about it, Minmax snaps, throwing him out of a window and starting a fight, in which he and Forgath kill the high-level adventurer and free Kin. The Yuan-Ti follows the duo, when they leave town and Minmax plans to kill her for xp, since she is a monster and therefore evil. Forgath tells him, he won't have any part in this and makes Minmax converse with Kin, who agrees to spare her life, if he finds at least one "normal thing" about her. When he fails to do so, he decides to give her a birthday, so he doesn't have to get back on his word while avoiding to kill her. He even creates a necklace with her name, and even though he misspells it as 'Ken', Kin rethinks her opinion about humans, and begins to like Minmax. The trio continues their travel and enters an interdimensional dungeon-crawl, known as The Maze Of The Many. Here, multiple version of them from different realities fight deadly traps and each other in a race to the treasure room, with the maze resetting every time someone wins it, erasing all memories of the remaining participants and bringing them back to life if they died. After 'our' adventures already failed almost two million times, they encounter a psion-Minmax, who has destroyed the counter for his tries, so he can retain his memories of previous tries and learn everything he needs about the different versions of the team and the maze itself to reach his own agenda, not the prize at the end of the dungeon, but the annihilation of all realities. He believes, that existence itself is the cause of all suffering and that oblivion holds a salvation beyond death, so he used his psionic powers to create reality-affecting gears, which he plans to use to erase the maze and everybody in it from existence by using the unique properties of the maze to prove 0=1. When begins to enact his plan, he has to realizes that his calculations are incorrect due to an unexpected variable, which he figures out being connected to 'our' reality, which leads to oblivion holes appearing throughout the maze instead of the whole place being erased. Since these are a paradox, they still carry the psion’s intended property of retroactively eradicating everything from existence, that falls into them. When the psion sets out to confront Minmax' party, he gets irritated by the fighter and tortures him, which -to his surprise- leads to Kin pleading him to stop. The psion deduces that these versions of Kin and Minmax share a bond far deeper than the soft romance most of them have, and test his theory by torturing Kin instead, which leads to Minmax get highly enraged. Convinced they are in love, the psion lets them go, since their death at this point would upset 43 variables in his calculations. After he left, Kin states that she doesn't love Minmax, since that just not how it works for Yuan-Ti. They don't experience love as we now it, but on rare occasions, two Yuan-Ti who experience a outstandingly strong connection, they enter a state called 'trueseeing', where they fully experience each others joy and pain.
Minmax gets a new sword, which is able to copy the properties of whatever it touches, unless he breaks it by sticking it into an oblivion-hole, which leads to the sword only existing for him and being unable to be affected by anything else. When the group enters another trapped room with trees growing down on them -with the growth-process being sped up by the trees being damaged- they encounter an alternate Minmax who has enslaved a demon, which they manage to banish, but not without a fire starting. When the trees burn, they grow even faster, which allows the fire to spread further, speeding up the growing process again, and Kin gets trapped. Being pinned down by moving wood leads her having a traumatic flashback, since Dellyn was partly human, partly animated wood. Unable to move, she completely breaks down, until Minmax crashes through the branches holding her down, doing his best to free her, but his efforts only make things worse. When it looks like they're about to get crushed, Minmax levels up again and -instead of following his completely laid out path to become a high-level fighter with incredible bonuses from staying strictly on with his favorite class, he multiclasses and takes a level in barbarian to use the strengh-bonus from the barbarian rage to break Kin free and bring her to safety.
Now, people who don't play RPGs might wonder, why this is such a big deal; as stated in the character introduction, Minmax is not only the name, but also the concept for the character. Minmax-chars are usually created toward a specific playstyle and get planned ahead all the way to the level-cap, before the charsheet even get picked up once. With taking a level in barbarian instead of fighter, we can assume Minmax screwed of the whole concept for his existence. Despite having a policy against tactile interaction, Kin hugs Minmax after he apologizes for going against her 'no touching'-rule.
When the group starts taking a shortcut by taking advantage of the oblivion holes breaking parts out of the mazes walls, they reach the treasure chamber way earlier than other teams, but can't enter it, because they skipped the necessary keys.
Minmax goes back to get the keys and starts fighting alternate versions of them, when the psion returns and attacks Forgath and Kin for messing with his plans. Kin's snake tail gets liquefied by psion-Minmax' powers, leaving her bleeding out and dying. The psion thinks, he needs Minmax' oblivion-sword to fulfil his task, so he leaves to face him, when a team of alternate Kins shows up and saves our Kin with a healing potion. While the potion is able to close her wounds and save her live, it can't restore her tail, leaving her crippled. The Kins tamper with the psion's gears, allowing Minmax to defeat him. Minmax is returned to Kin and is devastated, when he sees what his evil doppelganger did to her. She embraces him in close hug, assuring him that she's fine, which confuses her alternate versions, who never shared such a close bond with Minmax or any human at all. The group manages to restore Forgath's beard- erased by an oblivion hole-, Minmax' eye -damaged in the raid at the goblin camp- and even Kin's tail, which fills Minmax with joy. Right when he and Kin are about to share a kiss, an alternate Kin, who dubbed herself Ruby, interrupts and pulls Kin away. Ruby reminds her, how they suffered due to a human, demands to know how Kin can trust Minmax and questions her about her plans. When Kin admits, that she's thinking about scrapping the original plan to part ways with the adventurers shortly after the dungeon crawl, Ruby calls her out on it, compares Minmax' necklace to the cursed leash and offers her to stay with the other Kins instead. She asks Kin to at least think about it and hugs her, stealing the necklace unnoticed by Kin. When Kin talks to Minmax about her plans and her trust in him, Ruby drops the necklace into an oblivion-hole, leaving Kin questioning WHY she trusts Minmax and deciding it would be better to leave them. Desperately trying to get her attention and explaining, that he truesees her, Minmax attempts to hold her back from leaving, but accidentally grabs the leash when yelling 'stop and listen to me', activating the cursed magic that compels her to do what she is told. Horrified, he realizes what he just did, offers her the leash and tries to apologize, but she just knocks him down and leaves. Minmax is heartbroken over what just happened, so Forgath attempts to talk to her, but when tells Minmax about the conversation, his friend is unable to process anything the dwarf tells him and just keeps asking if Forgath told her, that he's sorry, while breaking down. In his desperation, he punches a wall, hurting his hand, while in the other room Kin gets bitten by a spider, leaving her with the exact same wound, proving that Minmax was right about trueseeing Kin. When Kin returns with the magic tea, that will transport Forgath and Minmax to the Goblins, Minmax tells her again, he’s sorry and offers to do anything she wants, to prove it and convince her to stay with them. Kin says, to prove it, he has to drink the tea. The second Minmax disappears, Kin realizes the wound on his hand being the same as hers, but it is too late, Minmax is gone.
Minmax and Kin, the couple that overcame prejudgemental worldviews, but fell victim to a tragical accident.
#1 Tidus & Yuna
Tidus about whom I've tried to write something not insulting for 15 minutes, yet I failed.
Yuna is a pristress and summoner, who happily plays the doormat for her incompetent bodyguards.
Originally a famous Blitzball-player, Tidus one day gets send into the far future, when his hometown Zanarkand gets attacked and destroyed by SIN. There he proceeds to think high of himself, believing the events turning around him, while he defiles other people's religions, ignores advice not to tell where he comes from, because it's considered a sacred place now and having flashbacks concerning his daddy-issues. He joins the ranks of Yuna's protectors, who is on a spiritual voyage to acquire the necessary summons to seal SIN away, which is apparently not important enough to not make stops for playing blitzball. Every now and then, Tidus makes awkward attempts to get closer to Yuna, walking into places where he's not allowed and still insisting about this whole thing being 'his story'. Yuna gets kidnapped more often than princess Peach, yet she feels the need to apologize to her bodyguards instead of, I don't know, asking them WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE DOING instead of hanging around protecting her. The ridiculous bad guy Seymore decides, it is time for a lovetriangle, asking Yuna to marry him, because of some ritual or whatever. When the party finally realizes Seymore to be the bad guy, they kill him, but instead of doing, what a summoner is supposed to do -sending the dead to the afterlife- they just leave, so he can return from the dead, causing the party more trouble. When Yuna gets captured by his cronies, she agrees to marry him,if her friends are allowed to live. Her friends decide to crash the ceremony, while Yuna already had planned how to flee from a wedding ceremony, that was guarded by robots and people with firearms, which all are actually considered taboo by religious decree, some can actually assume nobody would have accepted that anyways. The gang gets on the run, and despite sharing less romantic scenes than Padme and Anakin, Tidus and Yuna make out in a lake, when he finally understands what everybody else already knew: the summoner is supposed to sacrifice themself in order to complete the final summoning to stop SIN for a while.
He decides not to accept that -since it is his story- learns that SIN's essence is his dad's spirit, they defeat SIN as a metaphor of Tidus overcoming his daddy-issues and he fades away,since he never was real to begin with.
Tidus and Yuna- the couple that makes me simply ask "why?".
#1 Anju & Kafei
Anju, a young woman, who run’s the Stock Pott Inn with her mother.
Kafei, the son of Clock-Town’s mayor.
Basically, this is another ‘ Girl next door’-Story; they grew up together, fell in love, got engaged. Pretty standard, right? Well, no.
A few days before their planned wedding, Kafei disappeared without a trace. Anju had no idea where he went to, but she had faith in his timely return. The problem is, that his attempt to fix the original problem -he got transformed into a child by Majora and went to see the great fairy, to as for help-, created another problem -he had a run-in with a thief, who stole his wedding mask, a symbol of his love for Anju, which actually left him so ashamed, he didn’t dare to see her before reclaiming the mask (masks are an important part of Termina’s culture, and one ritual of the wedding ceremony is exchanging self-made masks ).
His mother hires a stranger as detective, who than basically controls the entire fate of the relationship. Will he talk to Anju after she received Kafei’s letter? Will he agree to meet her at midnight in the kitchen, so she can explain the situation and deliver her letter in time to the mailbox? Will he meet with Kafei, after Anju’s letter was delivered? Will he deliver Kafei’s pendant to her, so she’ll refuse to flee the town with her family in the final night? Will he find Kafei near the thief’s hideout and wait with him patiently for a chance to break in? Will they together manage to reclaim the stolen mask before it’s lost?
There is just so much that can go wrong in bringing those two happily back together, from missing an appointment, to taking too long to solve a puzzle... even saving the old lady from the thief during the first night will prevent him from returning to town later, which in case takes away Kafei’s last chance to get back the mask.
Forget to hand over the pendant, and Kafei will race back to the Inn with his reclaimed mask, just to find it empty. Fail the get the mask back,and he won’t dare to return to Anju.
But if you do everything right, they will in the end be reunited in a heart-warming moment, thanking you for your help and not caring on bit about the moon being only about two hours from smashing down on them, since all they need is each other. This moment really makes you hate yourself for having to choose between either let them die alongside everyone else in Termina, or just erase everything you just did for them from the time stream.
Also, chances that you’ll attempt to do their quest way before you can finish it on your first time around Termina, so you may or may not have to actually redo parts of it multiple times. It is completely possible to spend more time with them than with one of the main-dungeons. Not that’s what I call involvement, when you’re actually busy saving the world.
Anju & Kafei – The couple,that raised the bar for lovers in video games higher than anyone else.
Well, so much for my top 8 most adored and most despised romances in fiction (though I admit, Anakin&Padme could basically be exchanged with Neo&Trinity, both couples contain as much chemistry as a vacuum).
Happy Single Awareness-Day/Throw Things At Couples-Day/Fat Babies Shooting People With Arrows-Day/or whatever you have dubbed February, 14th for yourself.
~Kirby out
